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    "name": "The Idyll of the White Lotus"
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    "num": 1,
    "slug": "00-the-idyll",
    "title": "The Idyll of the White Lotus",
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    "words": 11230,
    "text": "## The Idyll of the White Lotus\n\n*by Mabel Collins, dedicated 'to the true author, the inspirer of this work' — Master Hilarion (1884)*\n\nthe idyll of the white lotus the idyll of the white lotus by mabel collins hi fourth edition theosophical publishing house adyar madras london benares krotona los angeles u s a igig copyright registered all rights reserved for permission to translate apply to theosophical publishing house adyar madras india to the true author the inspirer of this work it is dedicated preface the ensuing pages contain a story which has been told in all ages and among every people it is the tragedy of the soul attracted by desire the ruling element in the lower nature of man it stoops to sin brought to itself by suffering it turns for help to the redeeming spirit within and in the final sacrifice achieves its apotheosis and sheds a blessing on mankind prologue behold i stood alone one among many an isolated individual in the midst of a united crowd and i was alone because among all the men my brethren who knew i alone was the man who both knew and taught i taught the believers at the gate and was driven to do this by the power that dwelled in the sanctuary j had no escape for in that deep darkness of the most sacred shrine i beheld the light of the inner life and was driven to reveal it and by it was i upheld and made strong for indeed although i died it took ten priests of the temple to accomplish my death and even then they but ignorantly thought themselves powerful the idyll of the white lotus \n\n## book i\n \n### chapter i\n before my beard had become a soft down upon my chin i entered the gates of the temple to begin my noviciate in the order of the priest hood my parents were shepherds outside the city i had never but once entered within the city walls until the day my mother took me to the gate of the temple it was a feast day in the city and my mother a frugal and industrious woman thus fulfilled two purposes by her journey she took me to my destination and 2 the idyll of the white lotus then she departed to enjoy a brief holiday amid the sights and scenes of the city i was enthralled by the crowds and noises of the streets i think my nature was always one that strove to yield itself to the great whole of which it was such a small part — and by yield ing itself to draw back into it the sustenance of life but out of the bustling throng we soon turn ed we entered upon a broad green plain upon the further side of which ran our sacred beloved river how plainly i behold that scene still i on the banks of the water i saw the sculptured roofs and glittering ornaments of the temple and its surrounding buildings shin ing in the clear morning air i had no fear for i had no definite expectations but i wondered much whether life within those gates was as beautiful a thing as it seemed to me it must be at the gate stood a black robed novice speak ing to a woman from the city who carried flasks of water which she urgently prayed one of the priests to bless she would then have for sale a precious burden — a thing paid dearly for by the superstitious populace the idyll op the white lotus o i peeped through the gate as we stood wait ing for our turn of speech and beheld a sight that struck me with awe that awe lasted a long time even when i had entered into almost hourly familiarity with the figure which so impressed me it was one of the white robed priests pacing slowly down the broad avenue towards the gate i had never seen one of those white robed priests before save on the single occasion when i had before visited the city i had then seen several upon the sacred boat in the midst of a river procession but now this figure was near me approach ing me — i held my breath the air was indeed very still but those stately white garments looked as the priest moved beneath the shadow of the avenue as if no earthly breeze could stir them his step had the same equable character he moved but it seemed scarcely as though he walked in the fashion that other and impetuous mortals walk his eyes were bent on the ground so that i could not see them and indeed i dreaded the raising of those drooping lids his complexion was fair and his hair of a dull gold colour his a the idyll of the white lotus beard was long and full but it had the same strangely immovable almost carven look to my fancy i could not imagine it blown aside it seemed as though cut in gold and made firm for eternity the whole man impressed me thus — as a being altogether removed from the ordinary life of man the novice looked around his notice attracted probably by my intense gaze for no sound reached my ears from the priest's footfall \" ah i \" he said \" here is the holy priest agmahd i will ask him \" closing the gate behind him he drew back and we saw him speak to the priest who bowed his head slightly the man returned and taking the water flasks from the woman carried them to the priest who laid his hand for a second upon them she took them again with profuse thanks and then we were asked our business i was soon left alone with the black robed novice i was not sorry though consider ably awed i had never cared much for my old task of tending my father's sheep and of course i was already filled with the idea that i was about to become something different the idyll of the white lotus o from the common herd of men this idea will carry poor human nature through severer trials even than that of leaving one's home for ever and entering finally upon a new and untried course of life the gate swung to behind me and the black robed man locked it with a great key that hung from his waist but the action gave me no sense of imprisonment — only a con sciousness of seclusion and separateness who could associate imprisonment with a scene such as that which lay before me ? the temple doors were facing the gate all the other end of a broad and beautiful avenue it was not a natural avenue formed by trees planted in the ground and luxuriating in a growth of their own choosing it was formed by great tubs of stone in which were planted shrubs of enormous size but evidently trimmed and guided most carefully into the strange shapes they formed between each shrub was a square block of stone upon which was a carven figure those figures nearest the gate i saw to be sphinxes and great animals with human heads but afterwards i did not dare raise my eyes to gaze curiously upon them g the idyll op the white lotus for i saw again approaching us in the course of his regular walk to and fro the golden bearded priest agmahd walking on by the side of my guide i kept my eyes upon the ground when he paused i paused and found that my eyes fell upon the hem of the priest's white robe that hem was delicately embroidered with golden characters it was enough to absorb my atten tion and fill me with wonder for a while \" a new novice i \" i heard a very quite and sweet voice say \"well take him into the school he is but a youth yet look up boy do not fear \" i looked up thus encouraged and en countered the gaze of the priest his eyes i saw even then in my embarrassment were of changing colour — blue and gray but soft hued though they were they did not give me the encouragement which i had heard in his voice they were calm indeed full of know ledge but they made me tremble he dismissed us with a movement of his hand and pursued his even walk down the grand avenue while i more disposed to tremble than i had been before followed the idyll op the white lotus t silently my silent guide we entered the great central doorway of the temple the sides of which were formed of immense blocks of uncut stone i suppose a fit of something like fear must have come upon me after the inquisi tion of the holy priest's eyes for i regarded these blocks of stone with a yague sense of terror within i saw that from the central door way a passage proceeded in a long direct line with the avenue through the building but that was not our way we turned aside and entered upon a network of smaller corridors and passed through some small bare rooms we entered at last a large and beautiful room i say beautiful though it was entirely bare and unfurnished save for a table at one corner but its proportions were so grand and its structure so elegant that even my eye unaccustomed to discern architectural beauties was strangely impressed with a sense of satis faction at the table in the corner sat two other youths copying or drawing i could not quite see what at all events i saw they were very busy and i wondered that they 8 the idyll of the white lotus scarcely raised their heads to observe our entrance but advancing i perceived that behind one of the great stone projections of the wall there sat an aged white robed priest looking at a book which lay upon his knee he did not notice us until my guide stood deferentially bowing right in front of him \" a new pupil ? \" he said and looked keenly at me out of his dim bleared looking eyes \" what can he do ? \" \" not much i fancy \" said my guide speak ing of me in an easy tone of contempt \" he has been but a shepherd lad \" \" a shepherd lad \" echoed the old priest \" he will be no use here then he had best work in the garden have you ever learned to draw or copy writing ? \" he asked turning upon me i had been taught these things as far as might be but such accomplishments were rare except in the priestly schools and among the small cultivated classes outside the priesthood the old priest looked at my hands and turned back to his book \" he must learn some time \" he said \" but i am too full of work now to teach him i want more to help me in my work but with these the idyll op the white lotus v sacred writings that have to be closed now i cannot stay to instruct the ignorant take him to the garden for a while at least and i will see about him by and by \" my guide turned away and walked out of the room with a last look around at its beautiful appearance i followed him i followed him down a long long passage which was cool and refreshing in its darkness at the end was a gate instead of a door and here my guide rang a loud bell \"we waited in silence after the bell had rung no one came and presently my guide rang the bell again but i was in no hurry with my face pressed against the bars of the gate i looked forth into a world so magical that i thought to myself \" it will be no ill to me if the blear eyed priest does not want to take me from the garden yet awhile \" it had been a dusty hot walk from our home to the city and there the paved streets had seemed to my country bred feet infinitely weari some within the gates of the temple i had as yet only passed down the grand avenue where everything filled me so deeply with awe that i scarce dared look upon it but here was a io the idyll op the white lotus world of delicate and refreshing glory never had i seen a garden like this there was greenness deep greenness there was a sound of water the murmuring of gentle water under control ready to do service for man and refresh in the midst of the burning heat which called the magnificence of colour and grand develop ment of form into the garden a third time the bell rang — and then i saw coming from among the great green leaves a black robed figure how strangely out of place did the black dress look here i and i thought with consternation that i should also be clothed in those garments before long and should wander among the voluptuous beauties of this magical place like a strayed creature from a sphere of darkness the figure approached brushing with its coarse robe the delicate foliage i gazed with a sudden awakening of interest upon the face of the man who drew near and into whose charge i supposed i was to be committed and well i might for it was a face to awake interest in any human breast chapter n \" what is it ? \" asked the man querulously as he looked at us through the gate \" i sent fruit and to spare into the kitchen this morning and i can give you no more flowers to day all i have to pluck will be wanted for the proces sion to morrow \" \" i am not wanting your fruit or flowers \" said my guide who seemed fond of adopting a lofty tone \" i have brought you a new pupil that's all \" he unlocked the gate motioned me to pass through and shutting it behind me walked away down the long corridor (which now look ing back from the garden seemed so dark) without another word \" a new pupil for me i and what am i to teach you child of the country ? \" i gazed upon the strange man in silence how could i tell what he was to teach me ? \" is it the mysteries of the growth of the plants you are to learn ? — or the mysteries of the i2 the idyll of the white lotus growth of sin and deceit ? nay child look not so upon me but ponder my words and you will by and by understand them now come with me and fear not \" he took my hand and led me under the tall leaved plants towards the sound of water how exquisite it seemed to my ears that soft bright musical rhythm i \" here is the home of our lady the lotus \" said the man \" sit down here and look upon her beauty while i work for i have much to do that you cannot help me in \" nothing loth indeed was i to sink upon the green grass and only look — look in amazement — ■ in wonder — in awe i that water — that delicate voiced water — lived only to feed the queen of flowers i said to myself thou art indeed the queen of all flowers imaginable the white lotus and as i gazed dreamingly in my youthful enthusiasm upon this white bloom which seem ed to me with its soft gold dusted heart the very emblem of pure romantic love — as i the idyll of the white lotus ie gazed the flower seemed to change in shape — to expand — to rise towards me and lo drink ing at the stream of sweet sounding water stooping to take its refreshing drops upon her lips i beheld a woman of fair skin with hair like the dust of gold amazed i looked and strove to move towards her but ere i could make any effort my whole consciousness left me and i suppose i must have swooned away for indeed the next that i can recall i lay upon the grass with the sense of cool water upon my face and opening my eyes i beheld the black robed strange faced gardener leaning over me \" was the heat too much for thee ? \" he asked his brow knit in perplexity \" thou lookest a strong lad to faint for the heat and that more over in a cool place like this \" \" where is she ? \" was my only reply as i attempted to rise upon my elbow and look towards the lily bed \"what i\" cried the man his whole counte nance changing and assuming a look of sweet ness that i should never have supposed could appear upon a face so naturally unbeautiful \" hast thou seen her ? but no — i am hasty in ia the idyll of the white lotus supposing it what have you seen boy ? — do not hesitate to tell me \" the gentleness of his expression helped my scattered and startled senses to collect themselves i told him what i had seen and as i spoke i looked towards the lily bed hoping indeed that the fair woman might again stoop to slake her thirst at the stream the manner of my strange teacher gradually changed as i spoke to him when i ceased describing the beautiful woman with the enthusiasm of a boy who has never seen any but his own dusky skinned race he fell upon his knees beside me \" thou hast seen her i \" he said in a voice of deep excitement \" all hail i for thou art destined to be a teacher among us — a help to the people — thou art a seer i \" bewildered by his words i only looked upon him in silence after a moment i grew terrified for i began to think he must be mad i looked around wondering whether i could return to the temple and escape from him but even as i debated within myself whether to venture upon this he rose and turned upon me with the singular sweet smile the idyll op the white lotus is which appeared to cover and hide the ugliness of his strongly marked features \" come with me \" he said and i arose and followed him we passed through the garden which was so full of attractions for my wan dering eyes that i loitered on my path behind him ah such sweet flowers such rich purples and deep hearted crimson difficult i found it not to pause and inhale the sweetness of each fair faced blossom though still they seemed to me in my so recent adoration of its beauty to but reflect the supreme exquisiteness of the white lotus flower we went towards a gate in the temple a different one from that by which i had entered the garden as we approached it there issued forth two priests clad in the same white linen robes as i had seen worn by the golden bearded priest aginahd these men were dark and though they moved with a similar stateliness and equilibrium as though indeed they were the most firmly rooted growth of the earth yet to my eyes they lacked a something which the priest agmahd possessed — a certain perfec tion of calm and assuredness they were younger than he i soon saw perhaps therein ig the idyll of the white lotus lay the difference my dark visaged teacher drew thein aside leaving me to stand in the pleasant shadow of the deep arched doorway he spoke to them excitedly though evidently with reverence while they listening with quick interest glanced ever and anon towards me presently they came to me and the black robed man turned and moved over the grass as though returning on the way we had come together the white clad priests advancing under the doorway spoke together in low whispers when they reached me they motion ed me to follow them and i did so passing through cool high roofed corridors and gazing idly as was always a foolish habit of mine upon everything i passed while they still whispering together as they preceded me would now and then cast looks upon me the meaning of which i could not understand presently they turned out of the corridors and entered into a large room similar to the one i had already seen where the old priest was instructing his copyists this was divided by an embroidered curtain which fell in majestic folds from the lofty roof to the ground i always loved beautiful things the idyll of the white lotus it and i noticed how as it touched the ground it stood firm with the stiffness of the rich gold work upon it one of the priests advanced and drawing back one side of the curtain a little i heard him say — \" my lord may i enter ? \" and now i began to tremble a little again they had not looked unkindly upon me yet how could i tell what ordeal awaited me ? i looked in fear upon the beautiful curtain and wondered in some natural fear who sat behind it i had not over long in which to tremble and be afraid of i knew not what ere long the priest who had entered returned and accom panying him i saw was the golden bearded priest agmahd he did not speak to me but said to the others — w wait thou here with him while i go to my brother kamen baka \" and saying this he left us alone again in the great stone room my fears returned trebly upon me had but the stately priest given me a glance which held kindness in it i had not so yielded to i8 the idyll op the white lotus them but now i was again plunged in vague terrors of what next should come upon me and i was weakened also by the swoon which had but so recently prostrated me trembling i sank upon a stone bench which ran around the wall while the two dark haired priests talked together i think the suspense would soon have brought another lapse into unconsciousness upon me but suddenly i was again awakened to the doubts and possibilities of my position by the entrance of agmahd accompanied by another priest of most noble appearance he was fair skinned and fair haired though not so fair in either as agmahd he shared with him the stately immobility of appearance which made agmahd an object of the deepest awe to me and in his dark eyes there was a benevolence which i had not yet seen in any of the priests' countenances i felt less fearful as i looked upon him \" this is he \" said agmahd in his musically cold voice why i wondered was i thus spoken of ? i was but a new novice and had already been handed over to my teacher the idyll of the white lotus ig \" brethren \" cried kamen baka \" is it not best that he should be clothed in the white garment of the seer ? take him to the baths let him bathe and be anointed then will i and agmahd my brother put upon him the white robe we will then leave him to repose while we report to the company of the high priests bring him back here when he has bathed \" the two younger priests led me from the room i began to see that they belonged to an inferior order in the priesthood and looking on them now i saw that their white robes had not the beautiful golden embroidery upon them but were marked with black lines and stitch ings around the edges how delicious after all my weariness was the scented bath which they led me to i it soothed and eased my very spirit when i left it i was rubbed with a soft and sweet oil and then they wrapped me in a linen sheet and brought me refreshment — fruits oiled cakes and a fragrant draught that seemed both to strengthen and stimulate me then i was led forth again to the chamber in which the two priests awaited me 2o the idyll of the white lotus they were there with another priest of the inferior order who held in his hands a fine linen garment of pure white the two priests took this and as the others drew away the sheet from my form they together put it upon me and when they had done so they joined their hands upon my head while the other priests knelt down where they stood i knew not what all this meant — i was again becoming alarmed but the bodily refreshment had done much to soothe my soul and when without further ceremony they sent me away again with the two inferior priests with whom i felt a little familiarised my spirits arose and my step became light they took me to a small room in which was a long low divan covered with a linen sheet there was nothing else in the room and indeed i felt as if my eyes and brain might well remain without interest for a while for how much had i not seen since i entered the temple in the morning i how long it seemed since i had let go my mother's hand at the gate i \" rest in peace \" said one of the priests \" take your fill of sleep for you will be awakened in the first cool hours of the night i \" and so they left me \n### chapter iii\n i lay upon my couch which was soft enough to make it very welcome to my weary limbs and before long i was buried in profound sleep notwithstanding the strangeness of my surround ings the health and faith of youth enabled me to [MISSING: ingest-pipeline gap] the newness of my position in the temporary luxury of complete rest not long afterwards i have entered that cell to gaze upon that couch and marvel where the peace of mind had flown that had been mine in my ignorant boyhood when i awoke it was quite dark and i started suddenly to a sitting posture vividly conscious of a human presence in the room my wits were scattered by my sudden awakening i thought myself to be at home and that it was my mother who was silently watching beside me \" mother \" i cried out \" what is the matter? why are you here ? are you ill ? are the sheep astray ? \" 22 the idyll op the white lotus for a moment there was no answer and my heart began to beat rapidly as i realised in the midst of the blank darkness that i was not at home — that i was indeed in a new place — that i knew not who it might be that thus silently watched in my room for the first time i longed for my little homely chamber — for the sound of my mother's voice and though i think i was a brave lad and one not given to womanish weakness i lay down again and wept aloud \" bring lights \" said a quiet voice \" he is awake \" i heard sounds and then a strong fragrance crept to my nostrils immediately afterwards two young novices entered at the door bearing silver lamps which threw a sudden and vivid light into the room then i saw — and the sight so startled me that i ceased to weep and forgot my home sickness — i saw that my room was quite full of white robed priests all standing motionless no wonder indeed that i had been overpowered by the sense of a human presence in my room i was surrounded by a silent and statuesque crowd of men whose eyes were bent upon the ground whose hands were the idyll of the white lotus 2e crossed upon their breasts i sank back again upon my couch and covered my face the lights the crowd of faces overpowered me and i felt strongly disposed when i had recovered from my astonishment to begin weeping again from sheer bewilderment of ideas the fragrance grew stronger and more intense the room seemed filled with burning incense and opening my eyes i saw that a young priest on each side of me held the vases which contained it the room as i have said was full of priests but there was an inner circle close about my couch upon the faces of these men i gazed with awe among them were agmahd and kamen and the others shared with them the strange immobility of expression which had affected me so deeply i glanced from face to face and covered my eyes again trembling i felt as though walled in by an impenetrable barrier i was imprisoned with these men around me by something infinitely more impassable than stone walls the silence was broken at last agmahd spoke \" arise child \" he said \" and come with us \" i arose obediently though truly i would rather have remained alone in my dark chamber than 2a the idyll of the white lotus have accompanied this strange and silent crowd but i had no choice save silent compliance when i encountered the cold impenetrable blue eyes which agmahd turned upon me i arose and found that when i moved i was enclosed by the same inner circle before behind and at the side of me they walked the others moving in orderly fashion outside the centre we passed down a long corridor until we reached the great entrance door of the temple it stood open and i felt refreshed as by the face of an old friend by the glimpse i got of the starlit dome without but the glimpse was brief we halted just inside the great doors and some of the priests closed and barred them we then turned towards the great central corridor which i had observed on my first entrance i noticed now that though so spacious and beautiful no doors opened into it save one deep arched one right at the end facing the great temple avenue i wondered idly where this solitary door would lead they brought a little chair and placed it in the midst of the corridor on this i was told to sit facing the door at the far end i did so silent and alarmed — what meant this strange thing ? why was i to sit thus with the high the idyll of the white lotus 2s priests standing around me ? what ordeal was before me ? but i resolved to be brave to have no fear was not i already clothed in a pure white linen garment ? truly it was not embroidered in gold but yet it was not stitched with black like that of the younger priests it was pure white and priding myself that this must mean some sort of distinction i tried to sustain my failing courage by this idea the incense grew so strong that it made my head confused i was unaccustomed to the scents which the priests so lavishly scattered suddenly — without word or any sign of pre paration— the lights were extinguished and i found myself once more in the dark surrounded by a strange and silent crowd i tried to collect myself and realise where i was i remembered that the mass of the crowd was behind me that in front of me the priests had parted so that though the inner circle still separated me from the others i was looking when the lights were put out straight down the corridor towards the deep arched doorway i was alarmed and miserable i curled myself together on my seat intending to be brave if need be but in the meantime to remain as i 2g the idyll of the white lotus silent and unobtrusive as possible much did i dread the calm faces of those high priests whom i knew to be standing immovably beside me the absolute silence of the crowd behind filled me with terror and awe i was at some moments so full of alarm that i wondered whether if i arose and moved straight down the corridor i could escape from between the priests unnoticed but i dared not try it and indeed the incense combined with the effects of the subtle drink and the quiet was producing an unaccustomed drowsiness my eyes were half closed and i think i might soon have fallen asleep but my curiosity was suddenly aroused by perceiving that a line of light showed around the edges of the doorway at the far end of the corridor i opened my eyes wide to look and soon saw that slowly very slowly the door was being opened at last it stood half way open and a dim suffused kind of light came forth from it but at our end of the corridor the darkness remained total and unrelieved and i heard no sound or sign of life save a low subdued breathing from the men who surrounded me the idyll of the white lotus 2t i closed my eyes after a few moments for i was gazing so intently out of the darkness that my eyes grew wearied when i opened them again i saw that there stood a figure just out side the doorway its outline was distinct but the form and face were dim by reason of the light being behind yet unreasonable as it was i was filled with a sudden horror — my flesh creeped and i had to use a kind of physical repressive force in order to prevent myself from screaming aloud this intolerable sense of fear momently increased for the figure advanced towards me slowly and with a kind of gliding motion that was unearthly i saw now as it neared that it was robed in some kind of dark garment which almost entirely veiled form and face but i could not see very clearly for the light from the doorway only faintly reached out from it but my agony of fear was suddenly augmented by observing that when the gliding figure nearly approached me it kindled some kind of light which it held and which illumined its dim drapery but this light made nothing else visible by a gigantic effort i removed my fascinated gaze from the mysterious figure 28 the idyll op the white lotus and turned my head hoping to see the forms of the priests beside me but their forms were not to be seen — all was a total blank of dark ness this released the spell of horror that was on me and i cried out — a cry of agony and fear — and bowed my head in my hands the voice of agmahd fell upon my ear \" fear not my child \" he said in his melodi ous undisturbed accents i made an effort to control myself helped by this sound which savoured at least of something less unfamiliar and terrible than the veiled figure which stood before me it was there — not close but close enough to fill my soul with a kind of unearthly terror \" speak child \" said again the voice of agmahd \" and tell us what alarms thee \" i dared not disobey though my tongue clove to the roof of my mouth and indeed a new surprise enabled me to speak more easily than otherwise i could have done \" what i \" i exclaimed \" do you not see the light from the doorway and the veiled figure? oh i send it away it frightens me i \" a low subdued murmur seemed to come from all the crowd at once evidently my the idyll op the white lotus 2d words excited them then the calm voice of agmahd again spoke — \" our queen is welcome and we do her all reverence \" the veiled figure bowed its head and then advanced nearer agmahd spoke once more after a pause of total silence — \" cannot our lady make her subjects more open eyed and give them commands as before ? \" the figure stooped and seemed to trace something on the ground i looked and saw the words in letters of fire which vanished as they came — \" yes but the child must enter my sanctuary alone with me \" i saw the words i say and my very flesh trembled with horror the unintelligible dread of this veiled form was so powerful that i would rather have died than fulfil such a command the priests were silent and i guessed that as the figure so the fiery letters were invisible to them immediately i reflect ed that if strange and incredible as it seemed it were so they would not know of the com mand terrified as i was how could i bring eo the idyll op the white lotus myself to frame the words which should bring upon me an ordeal so utterly dreadful ? i remained silent the figure turned sud denly towards me and seemed to look on me then again it traced in the swiftly vanishing fiery letters — \" pass on my message \" but i could not indeed horror had now made it physically impossible my tongue was swollen and seemed to fill my mouth the figure turned to me with a gesture of fierce anger with a quick gliding move ment it darted towards me and drew the veil from its face my eyes seemed to start from their sockets as that face was upturned close to mine it was not hideous though the eyes were full of an icy anger — an anger that flashed not but froze it was not hideous yet it filled me with such loathing and fear as i had never imagined possible and the horror of it lay in the fearful unnaturalness of the countenance it seemed to be formed of the elements of flesh and blood yet it impressed me as being only a mask of humanity — a fearful corporeal unreal ity— a thing made up of flesh and blood without the life of flesh and blood into a the idyll of the white lotus ei second were crowded these horrors then with a piercing shriek i swooned for the second time in that day — my first day in the temple chapter iv when i awoke i felt my body to be covered with a cold dew and my limbs seemed life less i lay helplessly wondering where i was it was still and dark and at first the sense of solitary quiet was delightful but soon my mind began to review the events which had made the past day seem like a year to me the vision of the white lotus flower grew strong in my eyes but waned as my terrified soul flew on to the recollection of that later and most horrible sight — that which indeed had been the last before them until now when i awoke in the darkness again i saw it again in my imagination i saw that uplifted face — its ghastly unreality the cold glare of its cruel eyes i was unstrung unnerved exhausted — and again though now the vision seemed but my own imagination i cried aloud in terror thb idyll of the white lotus ee immediately i saw a light approach the doorway of my room and a priest entered carrying a silver lamp i saw by its rays that i was in a chamber which i had not before entered it seemed full of comfort i saw that soft falling curtains made it secluded and i felt that the air was full of a pleasant fragrance the priest approached and as he neared me he bowed his head \" what needs my lord ? \" he said \" shall i bring fresh water if thou art thirsty ? \" \" i am not thirsty \" i answered \" i am afraid — afraid of the horrible thing which i have seen \" \" nay \" he answered \" it is but thy youth that makes thee afraid the gaze of our all powerful lady is at all times enough to make a man swoon fear not for thou art honoured in that thine eyes have vision what shall i bring to give thee ease ? \" \" is it night ? \" i said restlessly turning upon my soft couch \"it is near morning now \" answered the priest \" oh that the day would come i \" i exclaimed \" that the blessed sun should blot s ea the idyll of the white lotus from my eyes the thing that makes me shudder i i am afraid of the darkness for in the darkness is the evil face i \" \" i will stay beside your bed \" said the priest quietly he placed the silver lamp upon a stand and sat down near me his face relapsed into instant composure and ere he had been there a moment he seemed to me naught but a carven statue his eyes were cold his speech though full of kind words had no warmth in it i shrank away from him for as i looked on him the vision of the corridor seemed to rise between us i bore this a while trying to find comfort in his presence but at length i burst forth in words forgetting my fear of giving offence which had kept me until now so obediently quiet \" oh i cannot bear it i \" i cried \" let me go away let me go out — into the garden — anywhere i the whole place is full of the vision i see it everywhere i cannot shut my eyes against it i oh let me — let me go away i ' \" rebel not against the vision \" answered the priest \" it came to thee from the sanctuary — from the most sacred shrine it has marked thee as one different from others one who will the idyll of the white lotus es be honoured and cared for among us but thou must subdue the rebellion of thy heart \" i was silent the words sank like cold icicles upon my soul i did not grasp their meaning — indeed it was impossible that i should but was sensitively alive to the chill of the speech after a long pause in which i tried hard to put thought out of my mind and so to obtain release from my fears a sudden recollection seized me with an agreeable sense of relief \" where \" i said \" is the black man whom i saw in the garden yesterday ? \" \" what ? — the gardener seboua ? he will be sleeping in his chamber but when the dawn breaks he will rise and go out into the garden \" \" may i go with him ? \" i asked with feverish anxiety even clasping my hands as in prayer so distressed was i lest i should be refused \" into the garden ? if you are restless it will soothe the fever that is upon your frame to go among the morning dews and the fresh flowers i will call seboua to fetch you when i see the dawn breaking \" i heaved a deep sigh of relief at this easy assent to my prayer and turning away from eg the idyll op the white lotus the priest lay still with closed eyes trying to keep all horrid sights or imaginings from me by the thought of the sense of delight which would soon be mine when i should leave the close artificially perfumed chamber for the sweetness and free inbreathing of the outer air i said no word waiting patiently and the priest sat motionless beside me at last after what seemed to me hours of weary waiting he rose and extinguished the silver lamp i saw then that a dim gray light entered the room from the lofty windows \" \" i will call seboua \" he said turning to me \" and send him to you remember that this is your chamber which is [MISSING: ingest-pipeline gap] suffer \" he turned away and left me moving with that slow and stately step which had so fascin ated me when a child • i sat down upon my couch and waited i was not afraid but i could not think or reflect i was conscious that a moment was at hand which would need all my strength and i remained without motion and without thought reserving all the force i possessed a star rose in front of me a gleaming star which seemed to me shaped like the full blown lotus flower excited and dazzled i rose and sprang towards it it moved from me — i would not lose it but followed eagerly it passed through the doorway of my room into the corridor i found that the door opened at my touch i did not stay to wonder why it was unlocked but followed the star and its light which momently grew clearer and its shape grew more defined i saw the the idyll of the white lotus ise petals of the royal white flower and from its yellow centre streamed the light that led me swiftly and eagerly i went down the wide dim corridor the great door of the temple was open and the star passed through it into the outer air i too went out of the temple door and found myself in the avenue of strange statues suddenly i became aware that there was a presence at the outer gate which called me i fled down the long avenue with feet that knew not whither they led me yet i knew that i must go the great gates were locked but so close to them that i felt as though i were in the midst of it was a great crowd a mass of people they were awaiting the great ceremony the final glory of the festival which to night was to take place at the porta]? of the temple itself i looked up and saw the queen mother standing beside me she had in her hand a flaming torch and i knew that its light had formed the star which guided me hither she it was then the light of life who had led me she smiled and was in an instant gone i was alone with my knowledge and the people crowded together and plunged isa the idyll of the white lotus in ignorance waited at the gates to be taught of the priests i remembered the words of my predecessor my brother who had given me the three truths for the people i lifted up my voice and spoke my words carried me on as though they were waves and my emotion grew into a great sea upon which i was lifted and as i looked into the eager eyes and rapt wondering faces before me i knew that the people also were being swept along on that swift tide my heart swelled with the delight of speech of giving utter ance to the great truths which had become my own at last i began to tell them how i had caught fire from the torch of holiness and was resolved to enter upon a true life of devotion to wisdom and to discard all the luxury which surrounded the priestly life and to put aside forever all desires but those which belong to the soul i cried aloud praying all those who felt the light kindle within them to enter upon a similar path even in the midst of their life in the city or on the mountains i told them that it was unnecessary because men bought and sold in the idyll op the white lotus iss the streets that they should utterly forget and drown the divine essence within them i bade them burn out by the light of the spirit the grosser desires of the flesh which held them back from the true doctrine and sent them in throngs as devotees to the shrine of the queen of desire i paused suddenly with a heavy sense of weariness and exhaustion i became aware that some one stood on each side of me an instant later i saw that i was surrounded the ten high priests had formed a circle around me kamen baka stood facing me and fixed his eyes on mine i cried out aloud standing there in the midst of this circle — \" o people of egypt remember my words i never again may you hear the messenger of the mother of oar life the mother of the god of truth she has spoken go to your homes and write her words on tablets and grave them on stones that people yet unborn may read them and repeat them to your children that they shall know of the wisdom go and stay not to witness the sacrilege of the temple which is to night to be committed the priests isg thb idyll of the white lotus of the goddess desecrate her temple with madness and lust and rich filling of all desires listen not to their words but go to your homes and ask of your own hearts their lesson \" my strength was gone i could utter no words more with drooped head and weary limbs i obeyed the menacing circle which surrounded me and turned my steps towards the temple in silence we moved up the avenue and entered the doorway within it we paused kamen baka turned and looked back down the avenue \"the people murmur \" he said again we moved on down the great corridor agmahd came out of a doorway and stood before us \" is it so ? \" he said in a strange voice he knew what had happened by the group he regarded \" what shall be done ? \" said kamen baka \"he betrays the secrets of the temple and excites the people against us \" \" he will be a great loss \" said agmahd \" but he has become too dangerous he must die speak i well brethren ? \" the idyll op the white lotus ist a faint murmur passed round me from lip to lip every voice was with agmahd \" the people murmur at the gate \" repeated kamen baka \" go to them \" said agmahd \" tell them this is a night of sacrifice and the goddess will herself speak with her own voice \" kamen baka left the circle and agmahd immediately took his place i stood motionless silent i dimly under stood that my fate was sealed but i neither knew nor desired to ask in what way i was to die i knew myself to be utterly helpless in the hands of the high priests there was no appeal from their authority and the crowd of inferior priests obeyed them as slaves i one alone was helpless amid this crowd and under this absolute authority i did not fear death and i thought it due to the queen mother that her servant should go to her with all gladness it was my last testimony on earth to her love \n### chapter ix\n i was taken into my own chamber and there left alone i lay down upon my couch and fell asleep for i was very weary and i was not afraid it seemed to me that under my head was the tender arm of the lady of the lotus but my sleep was short i was plunged in a deep unconsciousness that was too sweet for any dream to enter when suddenly i was roused by a vivid sense of being no longer alone i awoke to find myself in darkness and silence but i recognised the sensation i knew i was surrounded by a great crowd i waited motionless with watchful eyes for the light wondering what presences it would reveal to me then i became aware of something i had never felt before i was not unconscious yet i was helpless as though without sense or knowledge i was not motionless from indif ference or peacefulness i desired to rise and demand that light should be brought but i could neither move nor utter any sound some the idyll of the white lotus isg fierce will was battling with mine so strong that i was all but utterly mastered yet i struggled and would not yield i was deter mined not to be a blind slave overpowered in the darkness by an unseen adversary it became terrible this fight for supremacy it became so fierce that at last i knew it was a fight for my life the power that weighed me down desired to kill what was it who was it that endeavoured to draw my breath from out my body ? at last — i cannot tell how long this intense silent warfare was waged — at last the light came flashing round me on every side as torch was lighted from torch i saw dimly for my sight was faint i saw that i was in the great corridor before the door of the sanctuary lying upon the couch where i had played with the strange phantom child who first taught me pleasure i lay upon it outstretched as i had lain on my own couch in sleep as when it had been used in the ceremonial before so now it was covered with roses — large rich voluptu ous crimson and blood red roses thousands lay upon and about the couch and their strong perfume overpowered my faint senses i was igo the idyll of the white lotus clothed strangely in a thin white linen robe whereon were embroideries such as until now i had never seen hieroglyphs worked in thick dark red silk at my side was a stream of red blood which flowed from the couch into a beautiful vessel that stood upon the ground amid a heap of roses i looked at this a while in idle curiosity until on a sudden the know ledge came to me that this was my life's blood flowing away i raised my eyes and saw that i was sur rounded by the ten their gaze was all fixed on me their countenances were im placable i knew then what that terrible will was with which i had done battle it was their united resolution was it possible that i alone could struggle against this band? i knew not yet i was not cast down by one great effort i raised myself on the couch i was already weak from want of blood but they could no longer keep me silent i rose to my feet and stood upon the couch and looked past them to the crowd of priests beyond and further still to the throng of people who waited close packed at the entrance of the great corridor to see the promised miracle the idyll op the white lotus igi i stood one instant and thought i had power to speak but i fell back helpless in my weak ness yet a deep profound vivid happiness filled my soul and suddenly i heard a murmur which rose and grew stronger \" it is the young priest that taught at the gate i he is good he shall not die i let us save him i \" the people had seen my face and knew me a great rush was made in the sudden enthu siasm and the crowd of priests was pressed towards the couch so that the ten were unable to remain around it and as the wave of struggle came up towards the holy of holies many of the priests rushed into the vacant space between the couch and the door and as they passed by in the confusion and surprise i saw that the vessel which held my life was overturned and the red blood was spilled at the door of the sanctuary the door opened agmahd stood within it he looked majestic in his impenetrable calm he gazed upon the surging crowd before him at his cold gaze the priests grew calmer and gathered strength to withstand a little longer the onrush of the crowd the ten drew together again and with ii ig2 the idyll op the white lotus difficulty reached my couch and again formed a barrier about it but they were too late already some of the people had reached my side i smiled dimly into their kindly rough faces tears fell upon my face and penetrated my heart and then suddenly one caught my hand and clasped and kissed it and wetted it with hot tears surely that touch thrilled my blood as did none other i then i heard a voice cry \" it is my son — it is my son that is dead he is killed who will give me back my son ? \" it was my mother who knelt at my side i strained my fading sight and saw her she was worn and weary yet her face was good and as i looked i saw behind her overshadow ing her the lady of the lotus standing there in the midst of the people i and a gentle smile was on her mouth my mother rose and i saw a strange dignity in her face \" they have killed his body \" she said \" but they have not killed his soul that is strong for i saw it in his eyes as this moment they closed in death 's \n### chapter x\n and on my dim ears fell the sound of a great sigh that came from the heart of the people and then i knew that my body did not die in vain but my soul lived it was not only strong it was indestructible it had worked out its time of misery in that pale form it had escap ed from the imprisonment which so long had held it fast but only to reawakenin another a strong a beautiful and pure temple as the great surging crowd driven to fury by the resistance of the priests pressed on menacingly some victims to its rage fell around me close to my lifeless form lay agmahd trampled to death by the enraged people and at my very side against the couch on which i lay malen died his breath pressed out from his beautiful form as i hovered there in the strange consciousness of soul i perceived these tainted spirits dark with the lust and ambition which the queen of desire iga the idyll op the white lotus had kindled within them forced into that circle of necessity from which there is no escape agmahd's soul fled with a fierce rush like the dark passage of a bird of the night and malen that young priest who had led me to the city followed him swiftly he who obedient to the rules of his order had preserved the purity of the body was black within with ungratified and ceaseless desire but his body lay a broken flower fair as a lily when first it opens its bloom on the surface of the clear water i felt that my queen mother held me fast in her tender grasp that i might not escape from the scene of horror \" return to thy work \" she said \" it is yet unfinished this is the new robe that thou wilt wear which will be thy covering while thou teachest my people this body is sinless unstained and beautiful although the soul that inhabited it is lost but thou art my own to come to me is to live through eternity in truth and knowledge this is thy new garment \" i found that i was yet strong not only in the spirit but in physical life new vigour came to me my weariness was forgotten i the idyll of the white lotus igs rose from the place where but a minute since i had lain prostrate and lifeless i rose and standing hidden under the asgis of my queen looked in horror at the scene around me \" go malen go in safety \" she said \" thou art to live in the hearts of the people thou wilt be to them an image and symbol of the glory thou wilt be again a martyr to my cause one who will forever be remembered with love by the dusky children of chemi yet though thou diest in my service thou shalt teach for ages to come among the ruins of this temple and though thou diest for me a hun dred deaths yet shalt thou live to teach my truths from the adytum of the new fane that shall arise in the distance of time \" i hurried away and passed unnoticed through the surging furious crowd the statues in the avenue were thrown down the temple gates were broken and destroyed my soul was sad and yearned for peace i looked with longing eyes to the quiet country where my peasant mother dwelled but she believed her son was dead she would not know me in this new shape i turned towards igg the idyll op the white lotus the city now deserted by the maddened people a wild shout from a thousand throats tore the air i paused and looking back saw that the unchecked vengeance of a generation betrayed by its teachers had indeed fallen upon the glorious old temple already it was desecrated and its sinful inmates sacri ficed soon it would be a ruin i wandered through the empty streets of the city and knew that here where i had drunk of pleasure i must taste the joy of the worker here my voice must be heard unceasingly the truth long driven from the degraded temple must find its home in the heart of the people in the streets of the city long time must pass before my sin should fall from me and leave me stainless pure prepared for the per fect life towards which i labour since then i live change form and live again yet know myself through the long ages as they pass egypt is dead but her spirit lives and the knowledge that was hers is still cherished in those souls who have remained true to the grand the idyll of the white lotus igt and mysterious past they know that out of the profound blindness and inarticulateness of an age of unbelief shall arise the first signs of the splendour of the future that which is to come is grander more majestically mysterious than the past for as the whole life of human ity rises upward by slow and imperceptible progress its teachers drink their life from purer founts and take their message from the soul of existence the cry has sounded through the world the truths are uttered in words waken i dark souls of the earth who live with eyes upon the ground raise those dim eyes and let perception enter life has in it more than the imagination of man can conceive seize boldly upon its mystery and demand in the obscure places of your own soul light with which to illumine those dim recesses of individuality to which you have been blinded through a thousand existences though a land of dusky forms egypt stands as a white flower anions other races of the earth and the hieroglyph readers of the old hieratic writings the professors and the thinkers of the day will be unable to stain the petals of that grand lily blossom of our planet ig8 the idyll op the white lotus they do not see the stem of the lily and the sunlight shining down through the petals they can see nothing of the real blossom neither can they disfigure it by modern gardening because it is out of their reach it grows above the stature of man and its bulb drinks deep from the river of life it flowers in a world of growth to which man can only attain in his absolute moments of inspiration when he is indeed more than man therefore though its lofty stem lifts itself from our world it is not to be beheld or adequately described save by one who is in truth so much above the stature of man that he can look down into the face of the flower wherever it blossoms whether in the bast or the dark west he will there read the secrets of the controlling forces of the physical plane and will see written within it the science of mystic strength he will learn how to expound spiritual truths and to enter into the life of his highest self and he can learn also how to hold within him the glory of that higher self and yet to retain life upon this planet so long as it shall last if need be to retain life in the vigour of man hood till his entire work is completed and the idyll of the white lotus igg he has taught the three truths to all who look for light \" the soul of man is immortal \" \" the principle which gives life dwells in us and without us is undying and eternally beneficent \" \" each man is his own absolute lawgiver \" printed by j r aria at the vasanta press adyar madras university of california southern regional library facility eos de neve drive parking lot it • box gsie88 los angeles california googs ie88 return this material to the library from which it was borrowed lupnnhiiutliisti regi°nal library facil itv aa ooo goo 8eg",
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