{ "meta": { "schema_version": "1.1", "endpoint": "/api/sources/rhineland-mystics/suso/vol-1-25-chapter-xxvi.json" }, "work": { "slug": "suso", "name": "Heinrich Suso" }, "parents": [ { "slug": "rhineland-mystics", "name": "Rhineland Mystics", "url": "/sources/rhineland-mystics/" } ], "chapter": { "num": 26, "slug": "vol-1-25-chapter-xxvi", "title": "Chapter XXVI.", "of": 51, "words": 1648, "text": "## Chapter XXVI.\n\nOf the great suffering which befell him through his sister. \n\nThe Servitor had a sister who was under \nthe obedience of the religious life. Now, it \nhappened that, while the brother was living \nelsewhere, she began to throw aside restraint \nand attach herself to evil company. On one \noccasion, when she had gone out with these \ncompanions, she went astray and fell into sin, \nand then, through grief and wretchedness at \nwhat had befallen her, left her convent, and \nran away he knew not whither. \n\nWhen he returned home, the miserable tale \nwas being whispered about, and some one came \nand told him what had taken place. On hearing \nit, he became like a stone from sorrow, and his \nheart died within him, and he went about like \none out of his mind. He asked where she was, \n\n\n112 LIFE OF BLESSED HENRY SUSO. \n\nbut no one could tell him where. Then the \nthought came to him : — A new suffering is quite \nright, but that it should be here! Well! lose \nnot heart. See whether thou mayst not be able \nto bring back again the poor ruined soul, and \noffer at once the sacrifice of thy worldly honour \nto the merciful God. Cast aside all human \nshame, and spring into the deep gulf to her and \nlift her up. \n\nWhen the brothers stood in the choir at \noffice, and he had to pass up through the choir, \nall his colour left him, and he felt as if his hair \nwas standing on end. He had not courage to \ngo up to any one, for all were ashamed of him, \nand those who had formerly been his compa- \nnions fled from him. If he sought counsel of \nhis friends, they turned away their faces - from \nhim contemptuously. Then he called to mind \npoor Job, and said : — Weil ! the compassionate \nGod must needs comfort me, since I am aban- \ndoned by all the world. \n\nHe inquired on all sides whither he should \ngo, that he might bring speedy help to the for- \nsaken soul. At last he was directed to a certain \nplace, and he set out for it. It was St. Agnes's \nDay, and the weather was cold, and there had \nbeen a pouring rain throughout the night, so \n\n\nHIS SISTEK. 113 \n\nthat the brooks were much swollen. On trying \nto jump over a brook, he fell into it from weak- \nness. He got up as soon as he could, but his \ninward distress was so excessive that he heeded \nlittle this outward mishap. After he had gone \nsome distance further, his sister was pointed out \nto him in a small cottage. He went up to it in \nanguish of soul, and going in, found her there. \nAs soon as he saw her, he sank down upon the \nbench on which she was sitting, and twice his \nsenses left him. When he came to himself \nagain, he began to cry aloud piteously, and to \nlament and weep and beat his hands toge- \nther above his head, saying: — Alas, my God, \nhow hast Thou forsaken me ! Then his eyes \nfailed him, and his mouth became fixed, and his \nhands stiffened, and he lay thus unconscious for \na while in a faint. But as soon as he came to \nhimself again, he took his sister into his arms, \nand said : — Alas, my child ! Alas, my sister ! \nWhat have I lived to see in thee ? Alas, gentle \nmaiden, Saint Agnes, how bitter has thy feast- \nday become to me ! And then he sank down \nagain, and his senses left him. \n\nUpon this, his sick sister stood up and fell at \nhis feet, with great and bitter tears, and in a \nI \n\n\n114 LIFE OF BLESSED HENEY SUSO. \n\nvoice of lamentation addressed him thus : — Alas, \nmy lord and father ! what a sad day was that \nwhich brought me into the world, since I have \nlost God and caused you such great suffering. \nAlas, true brother and rescuer of my lost soul ! \nthough I am not worthy that you should speak \nto me or answer me, still take me to your true \nheart, and call to mind that in nothing can you \nbe more true to God and act more like Him \nthan in what you do for a cast-away sinner and \nan overburdened heart. Since God has made \nyou full of pity for all pitiable things, how will \nyou refuse to pity me, a poor cast-away sinner, \nwho am become an object of pity to God and \nall the world, now that my grievous sin has so \nspeedily and thoughtlessly made me vile in the \neyes of every one? What all reject and dis- \ndain, you seek out. When all are justly ashamed \nof me, you go openly to the cause of your suf- \nfering and disgrace, and seek me out. Oh! I \nbeseech you with an anguish of heart which \nknows no rest, prostrate and bowed clown be- \nneath your feet, reverence God in me, poor \nfallen sinner, and forgive me altogether this \ncrime and wrong which I have done you, to the \nhurt of my poor soul. Call to mind, I pray you, \n\n\nHIS SISTER. 115 \n\nthat if in this world I have lessened your honour \nand harmed your person and life, you will receive \ninstead singular honour and consolation in eter- \nnity ; and refuse not to pity me, for I am the \npoor maid who has fallen into the snare, and I \nmust bear this loss in time and eternity in heart \nand soul for evermore, and, besides all, be a \nburden to myself and every one. Oh ! let me \nthen be your poor needy child in this world and \nthe next. Nothing higher does my heart desire \nthan that I may have no longer the right to be, \nor to be called, your sister. Only let me in pity \nbe your lost sister, and by right your found and \nwell-earned needy one. This comes so truly \nfrom the very bottom of my heart, that when any \none calls me your sister, or points me out as \nsuch, it is a peculiar bitterness to my heart ; and \nI pity you when you are where you see me in \nyour presence and must needs suffer from it, for \nI know that you cannot help suffering all the \nshame which a heart naturally feels at such \ntimes. Any thing further in common between \nus there neither ought to be henceforth, nor do \nI desire it, for your eyes and ears must be filled \nwith shame and horror at me. All these pain- \nful things I will endure, and offer them up to \nGod for my shameful sin, in the hope that you \n\n\n116 LIFE OF BLESSED HENEY SUSO. \n\nwill mercifully pity me, poor sinner, and faith- \nfully satisfy for me, and help my poor soul to \nfind grace again before God. \n\nWhen the brother came to himself again, he \nanswered her sorrowful lament in this wise : — \nAlas, ye hot tears, burst forth from a full heart \nwhich can no longer contain itself for anguish ! \nAlas, my child ! thou, my heart and soul's only \njoy from my childhood up, in whom I had \ndreamed to find joy and comfort throughout \nlife, come hither and let me press thee to this \ndead heart of thy wretched brother. Let me \nwater my dear sister's face with the bitter tears \nof my eyes. Let me wail and weep over my \ndead child. Oh, a thousand deaths of the \nbody, how slight a woe ! Oh, the death of the \nsoul and of honour, how great a woe ! Oh, sor- \nrow and sufferings of my wretched heart ! O \nGod, merciful God, what have I lived to see! \nO my child ! come hither to me. Since I have \nfound my child, I will weep and lament no more ; \nand I will receive thee to-day with the same \ngrace and pity with which I pray the merciful \nGod to receive me, a sinful creature, at my de- \nparture; and I will gladly forgive thee alto- \ngether the exceeding pain and sorrow which I \nhave suffered through thee, and must go on suf- \n\n\nHIS SISTEE. 117 \n\nfering to my life's end ; and I will help thee \nwith all my might to expiate and correct thy \nsin in the sight of God and of the world. \n\nAll those who saw and heard these lamenta- \ntions of the two were so moved to pity thereby, \nthat they conld none of them restrain them- \nselves, but were forced to weep. Thus, by his \nsorrowful bearing and his loving consolations, \nhe so softened her, that she became willing to \nreturn at once to religious obedience. \n\nLater on, after he had with unspeakable \nshame, and great toil and labour, brought back \nin his arms to the merciful God this lost sheep, \nGod so ordered it that she was received into a \nfar more satisfactory place than where she was \nbefore. And her earnestness in God's service \nbecame so great, and her holy and well-guarded \nmanner of life showed such perseverance in all \nvirtues until her death, that the brother was well \nrepaid in the sight of God and of the world for \nall the pain and suffering which he had ever \nhad on her account. \n\nWhen the true-hearted brother saw that his \naffliction had turned out so exceeding well, it \ngave him pleasure and joy, and he called to \nmind how God secretly orders all things so \nthat they turn to good for the good ; and then \n\n\n118 LIFE OF BLESSED HENRY SUSO. \n\nhe looked up to God with great thankfulness, \nand his heart melted within him in praise of \nGod.", "project_translation": false, "text_trust": "verbatim", "quote_safe": true, "license": null, "methodology_url": null } }