{ "meta": { "schema_version": "1.1", "endpoint": "/api/sources/rhineland-mystics/suso/vol-1-30-chapter-xxxi.json" }, "work": { "slug": "suso", "name": "Heinrich Suso" }, "parents": [ { "slug": "rhineland-mystics", "name": "Rhineland Mystics", "url": "/sources/rhineland-mystics/" } ], "chapter": { "num": 31, "slug": "vol-1-30-chapter-xxxi", "title": "Chapter XXXI.", "of": 51, "words": 1262, "text": "## Chapter XXXI.\n\nHow he once entered into a loving account with God. \n\nDuring this season of the Servitor's suffer- \nings, and in the places where he then lived, if \nhe sometimes happened to go into the infirmary \nto give a little refreshment to his sick body, or \nif he sat silent at table according to his cus- \ntom, he was sorely tried by mocking discourse \nand unseemly words ; and this at first was \n\n\n136 LIFE OF BLESSED HENRY SUSO. \n\na great suffering to him, and made him feel \nsuch pity for himself that the hot tears would \noften run down his cheeks, and force their way \nwith what he ate or drank into his mouth. At \nsuch times he used to look up silently to God, \nand, groaning inwardly, exclaim: — Alas, O \nGod! art not Thou content with the misery \nwhich I suffer day and night ? Must even my \nscanty food at table be mingled with great per- \nsecutions? This happened to him oftentimes \nand abundantly. \n\nOnce on leaving table he could restrain \nhimself no longer, and, going into his place of \nprivacy, he said to God : — Dear God, Lord of \nthe whole world, be gentle and gracious to me, \npoor man, for I must enter into account with \nThee to-day. I cannot help doing it; and \nthough in truth Thou owest no man aught, \nand art bound to no one by reason of Thy \nhigh sovereignty, nevertheless it well beseems \nThy infinite goodness graciously to suffer a full \nheart to seek refreshment in Thee, when it has \nno one else to whom it can make its plaint or \nwho can comfort it. O Lord, I call Thee to \nwitness, who knowest all things, that from my \nmother's womb all my life through I have had \na tender heart. I never yet saw any one in \n\n\nHIS LOVING COMPLAINT TO GOD. 137 \n\npain or sadness but I had a heartfelt pity for \nhim ; and I never willingly gave ear to talk \nwhich would grieve any one, whether behind \nhis back or in his presence. All my com- \npanions must allow that it has been seldom \nheard of me that I ever by my words made \nworse the case of any brother, or of any one \nelse, either to the prelate or to others; but I \nmade every one's case better, so far as I was \nable; and when I could not do this, I was \nsilent, or I fled away that I might not hear it. \nOut of pity I showed all the more friendship \ntowards those who were wounded in their \nhonour, that they might more easily recover \ntheir good repute. I was called the faithful \nfather of the poor. I was a special friend of \nall God's friends. All who ever came to me \nin sorrow, or aggrieved, always received some \ngood counsel from me, which made them leave \nme joyful and consoled ; for I wept with those \nwho wept, and I sorrowed with those who were \nin sorrow, until, like a mother, I brought them \nround again. No one ever caused me any \nsuffering however great, but if he only smiled \nkindly on me afterwards, it was all past and \nover in God's name, as if it had never been. \nO Lord, I will say no more about mankind, for \n\n\n138 LIFE OF BLESSED HENRY SUSO. \n\nI could not even see or hear the needs and \nsorrows of all the little birds and beasts and \nother creatures of God without being pierced to \nthe heart thereby, and I used to pray the kind \nLord of all to help them. Whatever lives on \nearth met with favour and tender treatment \nfrom me. And yet Thou, O kind Lord, suf- \nferest some, of whom dear Paul speaks, calling \nthem false brethren, to behave to me so exceed- \ning cruelly, as Thou knowest well, O Lord, and \nit is manifest enough. Alas, kind Lord ! look \nat this, and console me for it with Thyself. \n\nAfter he had spent a long time in thus re- \nfreshing his heart with God, there came upon \nhim a stillness of repose, and he was inwardly \nilluminated by God in this wise : — The childish \naccount which thou hast entered into with Me \ncomes from this, that thou dost not always keep \nbefore thee the words and ways of the suffer- \ning Christ. Thou must know that God is not \nsatisfied with the mere kindliness of heart \nwhich thou professest; He wants still more \nfrom thee. What He wants is, that when thou \nart openly ill-treated by any one in words or \nbehaviour, thou shalt not only bear it patiently, \nbut shalt die to self so utterly as not to go to \nsleep that night until thou hast sought out thy \n\n\nHIS LOVING COMPLAINT TO GOD. 139 \n\npersecutor, and, as far as possible, calmed his \nincensed heart with thy sweet words and ways ; \nfor with such meek lowliness thou wilt take \nfrom him sword and knife, and make him \npowerless in his malevolence. See, this is the \nold and perfect way which the dear Christ \ntaught His disciples, when He said, \"Behold, \nI send you as lambs among the wolves\" (Luke \nx.3). \n\nWhen the Servitor came to himself again, \nthis perfect way seemed to him too burdensome, \nand it was grievous to him to contemplate it, \nand still more grievous to follow it. Neverthe- \nless he submitted himself thereto, and began to \nlearn it. \n\nNow it happened one day after this that a \nlay brother spoke very insolently to him, and \nabused him openly. The Servitor bore it pati- \nently in silence, and he would gladly have let \nit rest there. But he was inwardly admonished \nthat he must do something better than this. Ac- \ncordingly, when it became evening, and the bro- \nther was eating in the infirmary, the Servitor \nwent and stood in front of the infirmary, waiting \nfor him to come out. As soon as he came out, \nthe Servitor fell on his knees before him, and \naddressed him in words of humble entreaty : — \n\n\n140 LIFE OF BLESSED HENRY SUSO. \n\nI pray thee, dear worthy father, honour God in \nme, poor man, and if I have troubled you, for- \ngive me, for God's sake. The brother stood \nstill, and, looking up in amazement, exclaimed, \nwith a loud cry : — Ah me ! what a marvellous \ntiling you are doing! and yet you never in- \njured me, nor any one else: It is I who have \nopenly outraged you by my villanous words. \nYou must indeed forgive me, I entreat you. \nIn this way his heart was stilled and restored \nto peace. \n\nOnce upon a time, as he sat at table in the \nguest-house, a brother insulted him with scorn- \nful talk. Upon which the Servitor turned to- \nwards him very lovingly, and smiled upon him, \nas though he had just received a precious jewel \nfrom him. The brother was so moved by this, \nthat he became silent, and turned his face again \nin kindliness towards the Servitor. When the \nmeal was ended, the brother spoke of it in the \ntown, saying: — I have never been so grossly \ninsulted as I was to-day at table ; for, after I \nhad treated the Senator with open rudeness at \ntable, he bowed his face towards me so very \nsweetly, that I became red with shame ; and it \nshall always be a good lesson to me. \n\n\nHE COMES NIGH TO DEATH. 141", "project_translation": false, "text_trust": "verbatim", "quote_safe": true, "license": null, "methodology_url": null } }