Esoteric Training: Discipline, Self-Observation, and Higher Self

GA 266I — 26 October 1909, Berlin

Esoteric Lesson

Before we begin our discussion, I would like to say a few serious words to you regarding esoteric lessons. Esotericists should be particularly careful not to speak carelessly. They should not talk about what they learn in school or about the school itself. Small careless remarks often have far-reaching consequences. If, for example, someone mentions in the presence of a third party that they are attending an esoteric lesson which the third party does not attend, they should not dismiss such a slip of the tongue lightly and think that it does not matter. For such things are very important and can directly threaten the existence of the school, and the esotericist would have only themselves to blame if these esoteric lessons were to cease.

Now let us talk about our meditations. The esotericist must be clear, when entering such training, that events will come to him from outside which may cause him to ask himself: would this have happened to me if I had not become an esotericist? The esotericist must make it his duty to observe his life and himself as intimately as possible. The fact that he has embarked on this path should be the center of his life, for he is a small center of spiritual life, and this radiates — more or less unconsciously — onto his surroundings and causes the events that come his way. Through higher development, the student leaves his lower self alone, even if only for a short time during the day, the lower self with which he lives in ordinary life and through which he enters into contact with the outside world. During meditation, he leaves it to itself, withdrawing, as it were, a guardian who otherwise constantly controls it, regulating some of its character traits, suppressing others, or at least keeping them in check. Now that this lower self is left to itself, This union with the higher self is beautifully illustrated in the legend of Lohengrin and Elsa. Lohengrin appears to rescue Elsa and unite with her. But mistrust, a negative trait, is sown in her soul, and the higher self, Lohengrin, must retreat to the higher worlds and cannot unite with her.

even if only for a short time, is left to itself, characteristics that we often believed we had already overcome, whose suppression seemed very easy to us, creep out from all sides, from hidden corners of our nature. And as a result, man can in a sense become worse if he does not exercise strict control over himself at all times. In addition to our meditations, we are given certain exercises to help us in this.

As you know, everything is cyclical, including development. What now makes up our physical body will be removed from it in seven years. The same is true of [inner] development. If, for example, we enter an esoteric training program today, it will take seven years before all kinds of qualities that lie dormant within us can emerge and become more pronounced, qualities that hold people back greatly. However, this cannot happen if they pay sufficient attention to themselves, their lives, and their environment.

The reasons why someone takes up meditation also play a role. If you do not have unconditional trust in your teacher, if you harbor a hidden feeling of hostility toward him, this feeling will very soon come to the surface and impair the effect of meditation.

Above all, the esotericist should keep in mind during daily meditation that his entire striving is to attain his higher self, and he should reflect on what this higher self is. They should not believe that they have to offer anything to this higher self, but should adopt a waiting attitude toward it and expect everything from it. It appears to the student in three ways on their path; this is the normal way. The first time it happens, it is very fleeting, and in order to notice it, the esotericist must have the kind of attention that they should have for everything. This happens in dreams, where what is called the doubling of the ego occurs. For example, you have something in mind, or a problem is bothering you. Now someone appears in your dream who advises you what to do, who solves the problem, someone who is better and wiser than you. You should pay close attention to such dreams.

In the course of development, it then happens that in moments of helplessness, or in moments when you have made a decision, you hear a soft voice that advises you against this decision, for example. It is often a decision that you have made to the best of your knowledge and belief, and if you now follow this voice that advises you against it, it may happen that you have apparently done the wrong thing, but in the vast majority of cases you will immediately realize that you did the right thing by following the voice. If you practice listening to this voice, you will notice that you have something within you that is higher than your own reason, wiser than yourself.

And the third moment when you encounter your higher self is a very important, sacred one. This is during meditation. For just a few brief moments, you will unite with it. But to achieve this, we must silence our lower nature completely. We must eradicate everything that fills us with antipathy and petty feelings toward the world and life. In general, when observing themselves, students must always keep in mind the law of polarity, which means that if they have a bad trait and want to eradicate it, they must also look for the opposite of this trait within themselves. It is definitely there. The presence of one trait necessarily implies the presence of its opposite, even if one finds this hard to believe, and this opposite must be eradicated; then the other will disappear with it. For example, if someone feels fear within themselves, they have hatred as the opposite quality within themselves, even if it is hidden or complicated, and they must drive it out. Then the fear will disappear by itself. The higher self will only unite with us if such qualities are eradicated in moments of meditation.