# Transformation of Egoism and Spiritual Striving in Esoteric Development

## GA 266II — 10 March 1911, Mannheim

### Esoteric Lesson

The first fruit of our meditation is to gain a sense that we are striving for and entering into a connection with the beings of the higher hierarchies, and this should be expressed in such a way that we feel it as a feeling of being accepted into the higher worlds, of having arrived at the place where we originally stood; this is how we should experience it. This feeling of being accepted into the spiritual world should (must) be warm and alive. Anyone who wants to enter this spiritual world must say to themselves: everything, everything must become different for the esotericist; their concepts, feelings, and insights must change. Take human egoism, for example: it is Luciferic beings who have given us memory. And while we practice thrift in physical life, we are terrible, terrible wasters in the soul and spirit. But we must become thrifty with these wasted powers and transform them into powers of vision. To do this, we must practice self-knowledge. From morning to night, we scatter our feelings and sensations too selflessly. We must therefore first pass through egoism in the soul and spirit. Therein lies a danger for the esotericist: the danger of reinforcing egoism; therefore, all true esotericism must go hand in hand with a moral and intellectual purification of the human being.

We must realize that as esotericists, the impossible is demanded of us and that we strive for this impossible. All striving is precisely the striving for the impossible, and being unselfish is also the impossible.

We must try to have the right feeling toward all striving for development. Greed for knowledge and progress is not the right thing; rather, we should have a serious sense of duty toward development, for the divine spirit has placed powers within us that it develops without our intervention, but he has also placed active powers within us that man himself must develop through action, and it is the greatest sin against the divine spirit not to develop these powers that the deity has placed within us for the salvation of human development and progress. And these powers within us are so strong that they will lead us, albeit only after a long time, into the spiritual world. And that is why the esotericist should say to himself: “I will wait, for I know that the powers within me will lead me up—one day or soon—into the spiritual world.” They will do so if we are only devoted to the spiritual world in the right way.

The supplementary exercises develop the qualities necessary for us on the physical plane, such as controlled thinking, self-chosen actions, serenity, etc. Gradually, we will have a place in our hearts, in our souls, where we keep what is most sacred to us, where we are esotericists while we stand outside in life as human beings. Struggle with ourselves and with the world is a matter of course; we must become fighters if we want to become esotericists.

The many complaints of meditators that thoughts disturb and assail them can be answered by saying that these are the beings fluttering around us, which are rushing at us with ever greater force, and one can only say: Be glad that this is so, for it is a success of meditation, showing you that thoughts are a spiritual power. Courage, fearlessness, and trust are the qualities that the esotericist needs on his path.