Overcoming Obstacles in Esoteric Meditation Practice

GA 266III — 11 April 1913, Berlin

Esoteric Lesson

Record A

Time and again, aspiring esotericists complain that they are disturbed in their exercises by all kinds of intrusive thoughts. But this should not surprise us, for thoughts are the only spiritual thing on the physical plane; so when we engage in a spiritual activity such as meditation, they make themselves felt. One should not try too hard to fight these thoughts, as this is completely pointless; thoughts can do whatever they want. The only thing to do is to continue, persevere, and put your will into action in order to return again and again to the content of the meditation. This will is much more important than the method of meditation. If one returns again and again to the content of the meditation, one pushes the thoughts back and thereby creates a sphere around oneself in which they – the disturbing thoughts – are not present, and it is precisely this sphere that is most conducive to having supersensible experiences.

Another experience of the esotericist is that he begins to notice certain qualities in himself that he did not know he had before. Then again, it is not a matter of fighting these qualities—there would be no special means to do so—but the only thing to do is to continue the prescribed exercises with vigor. It is these exercises that have driven those qualities out of us to such an extent that they have become noticeable to us, and with continued practice they will disappear on their own.

Now, through continued practice, one may have progressed to the point of having this or that supernatural experience, for example, seeing images. Beginners then repeatedly ask whether what they have seen is something imaginary or whether it was a reality in the spiritual realm. This question can be asked if one judges according to the nature of the physical plane — which, at the beginning of the esoteric path, can hardly be otherwise. This question only makes sense on the physical plane; in the spiritual world, what matters is something completely different.

Let us suppose, for example, that someone — it need not be a meditator — has seen his double. It may be, for example, that he had planned to go to a party in the evening where someone intended to poison him. Now he enters a half-darkened room and sees himself there. Under the impression of this experience, he does not go to the party and is therefore not poisoned. Now, the form in which the experience appeared is not at all what matters. The most important thing is that the spiritual being that accompanies the person from incarnation to incarnation wanted to make an impression on him. There is such a being, belonging to the hierarchy of the Angeloi, which is called the guardian angel of human beings in religious creeds. This being cannot, in order to impress human beings, influence their thoughts in such a way that they would have known in their minds: you must not go to that party tonight. This cannot be because our thoughts, all thoughts except those produced by spiritual science, belong to the physical plane and therefore cannot be influenced by the supersensible.

After death, and even during sleep, we must lay aside our thoughts, with the exception of those produced by spiritual science. But our feelings and impulses of will extend into the supersensible realm, and impressions can therefore be made on them. This happens, for example, when we see our double. But it can also be that someone sees their double, not because the angelic being shows it to them, but because, even if only for a moment, their etheric body has become free and they now see their physical body in front of them. And it is also possible that one sees one's double simply because one has upset one's stomach and the etheric body—perhaps only in those parts that supply the stomach—has become free for a moment. All of this must therefore be carefully distinguished from one another.

And it may also be that the same impression that must be made—as in the case of poisoning—is made in different ways. One person may see their doppelganger, while another may enter a room at the same moment when a painting falls from the wall with a loud and physically inexplicable noise. This is roughly equivalent to writing a message in German one time and in Latin the next.

It therefore makes no sense to ask: is what I saw real or not? And the esoteric teacher will never provide clarification about an imagination that one has had only once, but only if it recurs frequently or is important for other reasons. It is like someone writing BIN on the blackboard and someone saying: I see a straight line, then two small arcs, then another straight line, then three connected lines. But someone else who has learned to read would immediately say, “It says ‘I am.’” However, there is no clear way of reading imaginations; one must first learn how to read them.

Or it may be that someone at the very beginning of their esoteric path sees such figures in the air (see illustration on p. 103).

Then he may go to an eye doctor, who will tell him that it is an eye disease. From his point of view, the doctor is right; for him, the whole belief in theosophy is a disease. But it only stems from the fact that the etheric body is beginning to make new movements, temporarily transferring them to the physical body; this is why he sees these things.

Some esotericists may now say: So my physical body is damaged by the exercises if the etheric body acts on it in this way — and then they are overcome by a terrible fear of every little pain and evil. However, there is no danger in these things; after a while, the etheric body will remove these effects by itself. There is only one remedy for this: persevere calmly!

Sometimes someone comes and says: I have such terrible headaches above the bridge of my nose, what should I do about it? — The best thing would be to do nothing at all, but to continue calmly with the meditations. Then the pain will get worse at first, and you will feel as if your head is splitting, but first of all, it will not split, and secondly, it is possible that through this pain you will break through the wall that separates us from the supersensible world. Only through pain and suffering can we evolve.

Often the illnesses that arise are the karmic consequences of certain stages of development that one has already gone through in a previous life and which the soul cannot reject in this life other than through illness and suffering. Often, when such an illness has passed, one becomes aware that one has progressed in one's development. One should perceive everything that comes as karma.

Record B

(Obituary for Mr. Bittmann.)

Time and again, a budding esotericist comes to me with the oppressive experiences of his meditation. One complaint in particular, which has been mentioned many times, is that the moment meditation begins, thoughts swarm around the meditator like a swarm of bees. Memories arise, mostly of a sad nature, often from many years ago.

Now, one must be clear that every esotericist makes progress under all circumstances. Even if thoughts swarm around him and distract him from meditation, this is a sign of progress. For he must be clear that when he does his exercises, he gains more and more power in the spiritual realm. Now, however, thoughts and memories are the only spiritual things on earth; when they press upon a person, it is a good sign.

It is not the what that is the main thing in meditation, but the how. That is why one should persevere and repeatedly bring one's will into action. Faithful will is the main thing; and even if meditation does not work at all, the will is strengthened. It is precisely in such a space, from which the swirling thoughts have first been driven away, that the best opportunity arises for a manifestation from the spiritual world.

Others come and say: We have experienced this and that—is it true or an illusion? That is difficult to answer. Of course it is true, it is reality; but one must be careful not to attach too much importance to it. These questions only have meaning on the physical plane; in the spiritual world they have no meaning whatsoever.

Others complain of severe pain at the root of the nose between the eyes and ask what they can do. Yes, one must simply endure it; they should just continue meditating. This will make the pain worse; it is as if one's head were splitting, but first of all, the head does not split, and secondly, this enables one to break through the wall that separates us from the supersensible world.

Only through pain and suffering can one develop further. Often the illnesses that arise are the karmic consequences of stages of development that one has gone through in previous lives, and which the soul cannot reject in any other way than through illness and suffering. Often, when such an illness is over, one realizes that one has progressed in one's development. Everything that comes should be understood as karma.

Even if special characteristics such as selfishness, vanity, etc. arise, one should not fight them, but calmly continue meditating; one should not use any means, but continue the exercises with strength, for they will drive such characteristics out of us.

Something that often happens to a budding esotericist is that they see their doppelganger. For example: they enter another room — and suddenly they are standing face to face with themselves. Let us further assume that they were planning to go to a party that evening where they were to be poisoned — this could very well be karmically conditioned — now he has this apparition of his doppelganger, which in the vast majority of cases will probably prevent him from going to the party.

How did that happen? Well, you see, every human being has an angel who guides them from one incarnation to the next – in religion, they are called guardian angels – who wanted to protect them, to warn them. How could he do that? He couldn't speak to him, especially if he wasn't yet esoteric, since thinking is something purely earthly. Only spiritual thinking is supernatural; physical thinking is purely earthly in nature. Feeling and willing, on the other hand, are connected to the spiritual worlds; the angel tries to make an impression on them and sends him an image.

There are other ways in which the doppelganger can be karmically conditioned. For example, a sudden fright can cause the etheric body to become detached, and the person finds themselves facing their physical body. Or there may be a very trivial reason: someone has upset their stomach; the etheric body emerges at this point and the person sees themselves.

The form in which the event occurs is not the main thing. It could just as well be that someone enters another room where a picture falls from the wall with a thunderous crash. It is the same as writing a message once in German and once in Latin.

An imagination only has value if it occurs frequently; one person will understand it, another will not. It is just as if someone writes all kinds of lines and arcs on the blackboard: BIN. For one person, they are just lines, another reads them as: bin. But there is no unambiguous reading of imaginations.

Or someone sees tiny circles; they don't know what to make of them.

The physical doctor thinks it is an eye disease; for him, belief in theosophy is already a disease. In reality, it is only proof that the etheric body has begun to become mobile and is transferring this to the physical body. This is why he sees these things. Many people think that the physical body suffers damage during this development, and they are afraid of it. But there is no danger; after a while, the etheric body clears away the consequences by itself.

Record C

It is not a bad sign when all kinds of thoughts rush in during meditation, because everything is intensified, and it is therefore quite natural. But it is precisely then that it is of the utmost importance that we keep them at a distance; and in the empty space that we create around our meditation, by keeping away everything that wants to rush in, we have the best chance of seeing real occult experiences occur. This also increases our strength, because even more valuable than meditation itself is the will to persevere no matter what happens, and not to expect salvation from anything else, but to continue our meditation strictly and with the deepest seriousness. This will to keep going is of the utmost importance.

There are also some meditators who ask whether this or that imagination they have had is true or not. But that is not the right question to ask, because an imagination may be true, but that is not what matters; what matters is to understand what is meant, what lies behind this meditation [imagination]. For example, one day you may see your double. This imagination of yourself may have been created by your guardian angel to prevent you from going out that evening, for example, or it may occur because the etheric body has left the physical body for a moment through the exercises. Or it may come from an overloaded stomach, causing the etheric stomach to leave the body for a moment. It is therefore important to develop this further to the point of perception, which at the same time knows what the imagination means. It can also happen that the meditator sees all kinds of figures, and a doctor would say that there is something wrong with the eyes.

This may also be the case, but it is precisely because the etheric body takes on other forms through practice and acts differently on the physical body.

Some complain, for example, that they get terrible headaches, but it would be best if they did not complain at all, but simply persevered, even if it happens that their head seems to be about to burst. It is precisely through the power to persevere that one makes progress, and after a while such phenomena (which can also be unpleasant sensations of heat, hearing, or smell) cease of their own accord. Then something has been overcome, and the real experience of the etheric world begins. But esotericists are sometimes very fearful of such things, even though they know that fear is something that always wants to come to us when we go through our training, and that we must overcome it in order to become stronger and stronger. We know that our path upward leads through suffering and difficulties. Nor must we forget the truth of karma, a consciousness that must always help us to bear everything. For example, one can become ill as a result of development in a previous life, and through this struggle against the forces of illness, a degree of strength can be regained that the soul gained in a previous life. To keep going and see all difficulties in the right light is the great power that leads us upward. Also, meditating on our motto with the right feelings: E.D.N. - I.C.M. - P.S.S.R.

Record D

Through esoteric exercises, we will increasingly find ourselves performing certain daily tasks automatically. However, we must not lose control over them. We must try to push aside the thoughts that rush in during meditation through willpower. The space that is freed up in this way is then most likely to be filled with spiritual realities. Something that can be experienced early on is the experience of the doppelganger. It can happen that you enter a dimly lit room and see your own physical body standing opposite you. You must then distinguish what this means, as it can have three different meanings. Firstly, it can be a warning from our guide in the hierarchy of the Angeloi that, for example, you wanted to go to a party in the evening where you would have been poisoned; the experience prevented you from going. The guide cannot send us this thought, because thoughts belong only to the physical world; feelings and impulses of the will already belong to the spiritual world. Secondly, through concentration exercises, one may have loosened the etheric body to such an extent that one can lift it out of the physical body, even if only for a few moments, and then one can experience one's doppelganger. Thirdly, one may have stomach pains, for example, and the etheric body leaves this part of the body, and one can then also experience the double.

One must come to understand what these experiences mean, then one will not be able to say that one does not know whether they are real or imaginary.