54. On the Representation of Personal Conviction

Within our culture, a great deal of value is placed on what is called the courageous and bold expression of “personal conviction”. He who stands up for his own thoughts and opinions is considered to be full of character; he who does not, to be without it. One cannot respect a person who makes himself the mouthpiece of another. Of course, it would be absurd to object to such principles. The great demands that our time makes on the personality make it absolutely necessary for the personality to appear secure and firm. But a truly spiritual outlook on life must view such things from a higher point of view. It must demand self-reflection and self-knowledge, especially with regard to the highest virtues. It must be clear that just as the North Pole cannot exist without a South Pole, so the highest virtues cannot exist without their corresponding dark sides. And the dark side of “personal conviction” is obstinacy, it is insisting on “one's own thoughts”. As nice as it is to unreservedly defend one's opinion, it is just as necessary from a different point of view to accept the opinion of one's fellow human beings as completely equal. And how little this is in the character of the most convinced. They often show an intolerance of feeling and thinking that makes it impossible for them to truly engage with other opinions. Of course, they will almost always speak of tolerance. But they can hardly practice it. For it is not enough to recognize a principle, but to live it. Through practice one must absorb it. One should absorb inner tolerance, tolerance of thought, in strict self-discipline. And if one does it in the smallest things, it will ultimately become a basic trait of our whole present life.

Two things should be pointed out here. First, something quite mundane. Overhear a conversation. How often do we hear the little word “but”, hastily spoken. We have not yet taken in what the other person has said, we may not even have fully realized what is guiding him, and yet we are already ready to counter with our own opinion, with the “but”. Consciously, one should suppress such habits. One should practice quiet, reverent “listening”. Whether one believes it at first or not, only those who have practiced such “listening” a lot will achieve higher spiritual development.

And a second point: in a meeting, someone makes a suggestion. Immediately others are there with counterproposals. They believe that they absolutely must express their own opinion. One should rather make it a principle never to counter a foreign proposal without first seeking complete insight into the motives of the other proposal. One should always bear in mind that one is selfish after all when one loves an opinion because one has it oneself. “I can only advocate what I myself believe,” is a view that can be heard everywhere. And yet it is no less true that one should selflessly put oneself in the other's shoes, that one should first check before going into battle whether one really has better things to advocate than the other. Those who have attained a higher spiritual development have bought it through a sacrifice in this direction. They have imposed on themselves to merge completely in the opinions of their fellow human beings, to extinguish themselves in the innermost fibers of their soul, in order to be absorbed in the others. Only those who have learned to become selfless even in their most secret thoughts can become true mystics. One must have experience in such matters if one wants to claim anything. There is no better way to develop on the first steps of the spiritual ladder than to impose silence in one's deepest inner being for a while. I gain a great deal from letting myself be told once a month, or perhaps once a year: Now, quite modestly, I want to mean nothing myself, but selflessly let foreign opinions live inside me for a change. I want to completely immerse myself in foreign perceptions, feelings, thoughts. In this way I unselfishly expand my self, whereas I selfishly narrow it if I allow only my own opinions to play as waves on the surface of my life, from the depths of my self. Such a thought should take hold particularly among those who, in the spirit of our time, always have the word in their mouths: “personal conviction.”