Egyptian-Hebrew stream·Babylonian Talmud·Chapter IX.
Derech Eretz Rabba Ch III — On eating with others
On the proprieties of eating with others — table manners, the rules of zimmun (joint grace), what is appropriate at festive and at ordinary meals.
Source context
- Theme
- rabbinic legal and ethical discourse within the Babylonian Talmud tradition
Steiner
not engaged in the GA corpus
Cross-tradition
- Jewish Talmudic traditionThe Talmud's dialectical method of halakhic reasoning — weighing minority and majority opinions, preserving dissent alongside ruling — structurally parallels the Aristotelian practice of preserving aporiai before resolution, both traditions treating recorded disagreement as itself a vehicle of transmitted wisdom.
Chapter IX.
ONE should not use a slice of bread to cover therewith a dish. One should not wipe the dish with a piece of bread and lay it on the table, for he disturbs the mind of his neighbor. For the same reason, one shall not bite off a piece of bread and place the remainder in the dish intended for another person. One should also not drink from a goblet and give the balance to another one to drink, for it may cause danger to life. It happened that R. Aqiba stopped at the inn of a certain person, who offered him a goblet, first tasting its contents, and R. Aqiba told him to drink the whole of it. He offered him another one, first having tasted it. R. Aqiba told him to drink it all, until Ben Azai said to him: "How long
wilt thou continue doing so?" It again happened that R. Aqiba was lodging with a certain person, and he placed a piece of bread underneath the dish to support it, and R. Aqiba took hold of it and swallowed it. Said the man to R. Aqiba: "Rabbi, had you no other bread to eat than that piece with which I supported the dish?" And he answered: "First, I thought that you could burn yourself with lukewarm water (i.e., you will understand a slight hint). Now I see that you cannot burn yourself even with boiling water." One shall also not empty his cup and then place it on the table, but he shall keep it in his hand until taken away by the waiter.
Five things said Rabbi in regard to bread, namely: Raw meat must not be placed on bread, nor shall a cup or dish be placed on bread, nor shall bread be used to support a dish, nor shall it be thrown from place to place; nor shall one sit at the table when others are eating, for he disturbs their appetite. One who comes to the table to take his meal shall not take his portion and give it to the waiter, for the reason that some unforeseen thing may happen during the meal (and his portion may be needed); but he shall place it in front of him until the end of the meal, and then give it to him. Guests must not give anything to the son of the host, nor to his servant or messenger, without the permission of the host. It happened once with a man who invited three guests in years of famine, that he served them three eggs. The son of the host then came and stood in front of them, and the first guest took his portion and gave it to him, and so did the second and third. When the host returned, and found his son holding one in his mouth and one in each hand, he raised him full height and struck him to the ground, and he died. The mother, hearing of what happened when standing on the roof, was so shocked that she fell down dead. When the father heard this, he also threw himself from the roof, and died. Then R. Elazar said: "Three human beings were killed on account of this."
Chapter IX.
R. Eliezer the Kapar said: Keep aloof from anger, for by being angry at others you will add to your transgression. Love your admonisher, for by doing so you, will add wisdom to your ability; and rather shun the one who honors you, that your wisdom be not lessened. Love the prayer-house, in order that you shall be rewarded daily; and the house of learning, in order that your children shall come to study. Love the poor, in order that your children shall not come to poverty. Love modesty, that you may enjoy longevity; love the pious, in order that you may be saved from the black angel. Be careful in the reading of Shema, and prayer in general, in order that you be saved from Gehenna. Your house shall be wide open, in order that you shall never lack food.' Be careful that the doors of your house shall not be closed when you take your meals, that you may not be punished
therefor with poverty. Be careful about the honor of your wife. Be glad of your chastisement, for this probably saves you from Gehenna. Be joyful at your table when the hungry derive benefit from it, in order that you enjoy longevity and have a share in the world to come. Be also joyful when giving charity from your house, in order that you may pacify the anger of death, as it is written [Prov. xxi. 14]: "A gift in secret pacifieth anger, and a bribe in the bosom, strong fury." If you have troubled your feet for the poor or for the sake of a merit, the following passages may be applied to you [Deut. xxviii . 6]: "Blessed shalt thou be at thy coming in, and blessed shalt thou be at thy coming out." If you keep your mouth from slander, you will spend all the days of life in peace. One who is audacious towards one who is greater than he will finally be punished with a plague. If you run to do honor to a sage, you will be rewarded with enviable children; and for running to do honor to the poor, you will be rewarded with sons of learning and a law-abiding record in Israel. Dost thou see a sage die, do not turn away from him until after burial, that thou, too, mayest receive respect and attention when it will be thy time to die. When you see your neighbor has be come poor and his power is on the decline, do not refuse to help him, as it is written [Eccl. viii. 5]: "Whoso keepeth the commandment will experience no evil thing." If you have loaned him something when he was in need, the following passage will be fulfilled on you [Is. lviii. 9]: "Then shalt thou call, and the Lord will answer." If you lower yourself, the Lord will lift you up; but if you assume superiority over your fellowmen, the Lord will lower you. If others quarrel with thee, whether in a house of learning or at an ordinary meeting-place, do not leave until peace is restored, and they shall praise thee in thy absence as Pinchas b. Elazar. Great is peace, that even when it reigns among idolaters nothing can be done to them, as it is written [Hosea, iv. 17]: "Ephraim
is bound (bound together) to idols; let him alone." But if they quarrel among themselves, it is said of them [ibid. X. 2]: "Their heart is divided; now shall they bear their guilt." Hence that house in which there is strife will be destroyed, and the sages say that even a prayer-house in which there is strife will be demolished. The same is it with two chiefs of the court who live in one town and quarrel with each other, they will finally die. Abba Saul said: Strife between courts is a destruction of the world. Abba Issi b. Johanan said in the name of Samuel the Little: This world resembles the eyeball of a man. The white is the ocean that surrounds the whole land; the black is the world; the circle in the black is Jerusalem, and the image (the pupil) in the circle is the Temple, which will be rebuilt in the near future. Amen.
Footnotes
28:1 Chapters VIII. and X. are a repetition of what was stated in other places.